How The Holy Spirit Transformed the Role of Media in My Life
Before I accepted Christ into my heart, I was desensitized when it came to the media. Books, movies, tv shows, social media, and songs. Nothing was real and nothing could affect me, or so I thought. I believed I could consume anything and still walk out the same. But as far back as I can remember, this is a lie.
When I was a child, my parents would put on scary movies and I would be haunted for months. I would cry myself to sleep every night, terrified, because something had truly shaken up my insides. I once remember reading a book where a girl committed suicide when I was 13, and I couldn’t go to school the following day because of how depressed it made me. If I watched anything with violence, guns, and fighting before bed, I would have nightmares.
Why do we think we are exempt from this as adults? I don’t remember the last time I watched a rated R movie, nor do I have a desire to indulge in them. I’ve never liked scary movies and stay far away from them. I do not read books, watch tv, or listen to music where anything graphic, overtly sexual, or extremely violent takes place. I don’t indulge in true crime anymore. I deleted my social media except for LinkedIn and my book tracking apps, and traded in my smartphone for a flip phone.
The truth is, all of these changes were not outwardly conscious decisions. I never woke up one day and set out to censor all rated R movies from my catalog. I never opened Spotify and searched for “family friendly and appropriate tunes.” I didn’t make a transitional plan for leaving the realm of social media.
I believe The Holy Spirit in me did not think of all the things it was going to remove from my life; quite the opposite, it mulled over all the wonderful things it was going to contribute. Perhaps, whatever darkness that was dormant in me from all the hurdles of my life was drawn to broken and immoral things. And in that same way, whatever Jesus healed in me became drawn to stories of redemption, loyalty, sacrifice, of loving and caring for one another.
As Christians, we are all convicted in different ways. What one is called to do can be different from what the rest of the herd is summoned to do. I am much less anxious to not have people tracking my every move on Instagram. I am much more at peace with real-life friends than followers. Some of you may claim you can play violent video games, watch the scariest movie known to mankind, and walk out with sunshine and rainbows coming out of your ears. I say, congratulations to you! For God has created you with a heart of steel. I, however, was made from paper mache and flimsy plastic buttons.
I have not thought of my life as censored, but as an invitation. An invitation to think big, to imagine, to revel in the wonder of childlike curiosity. I am naturally drawn to what feels encouraging, what feels like a big warm hug at the end of a long day, what is wholesome to my heart like a big slice of meatloaf on a yellow plate.
I watch Arthur, yes, the animated kids show with the aardvark sporting glasses and a yellow sweater. I listen to Dire Straits with my father as we do laps up and down the driveway. I watch corny romcoms on a bad day. I deep dive into absurd conspiracy theories on a good day. I do not only listen to worship music, only watch sermons and consume media centered on Christ. No, but I carry less worry and fear in my heart these days. God has transformed my desires to reach for media that will reinforce an uplifting and encouraging existence instead of promoting and indulging in sin under the guise of entertainment.
For this, I am grateful.
